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Separation from a Borderline Relationship

Separating from someone with Borderline Personality Disorder is one of the most painful experiences a partner can go through. The intense symbiosis that developed during the relationship makes letting go particularly difficult.

What You Should Know

Section titled “What You Should Know”

Keep in mind that you may be in a state of psychological emergency. Your brain chemistry is no longer functioning “normally,” and you are reacting, acting, thinking, and feeling differently than under normal circumstances.

Understanding the Dynamics

Section titled “Understanding the Dynamics”
  • You are not guilty – even if guilt feelings are nearly crushing you
  • From the perspective of the person with Borderline, you are the perpetrator and they are the victim (caused by their distorted reality perception)
  • Splitting ensures that you are now “black” – and will remain so
  • A friendly relationship after a total separation is hardly possible

Topics in This Section

Section titled “Topics in This Section”
Symptoms During Separation Psychosomatic and emotional reactions
Advice for Separation Practical help for the separation process
What Can Happen to You Possible situations and legal aspects
Meeting During Separation What happens during encounters

Why Is This Separation So Difficult?

Section titled “Why Is This Separation So Difficult?”

Unlike the person with Borderline, you are not subject to splitting. You cannot shed everything and switch off within hours. Accept that a part of you is currently dying – because through the bonding and symbiosis, they became part of you.

Accept that this is a process of grief that you must go through.

Further Topics

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