Poems - Part 1

Softly and Gently

Softly and gently… words flutter, carried by light, from my strawberry mouth. Like butterflies, fragile and fine, their little wings tickle you. So I sing us a lullaby, a song of the little death…

The mist of night gently envelops us with its veiled spirit. I cradle you in my arms and stroke your hair. Fall asleep, fall asleep, the moon has drunk the morning dry… Fall asleep, fall asleep, the sun has forever gone down…

Jezirah, 01.08.2007

I Gave You Much

I gave you much, yet you took more, and never asked where it came from. I wanted to discover feelings anew with you, I wanted to awaken your soul. I thought I was in a safe place, trusted you and your word.

What is love, what is happiness? Far too often I think back, to our time and to you as well, and butterflies in my stomach. This is sadly clear to me today, and yet, the time was wonderful.

Life! What did I do wrong? I am alive, yet all around is night. Life! You seemed so easy to be, and yet you are so hard, harder than the greatest stone. I live in a world that is lonely and cold, for I feel empty and endlessly old.

I almost wish it were over. That this waiting would have an end. For old, new, love? Simply living. Can I even still give love? This I ask myself in my distress. I almost wish I were… dead.

Mars, 19.04.2002

The Answer Lies Within You Alone

Softly my tears flow; pouring over my face. Sorrow, grief, my heart aches. When I look in the mirror, I see two empty eyes asking so searchingly “WHY.” Seeking the answer, my lips remain silent. Minutes long and full of silence, I follow the course of my tears. As if they show me the answer, and I spoke softly to myself: “Don’t give up, seek the path, a way out of the pain. Look deep into your eyes and simply listen to your heart, for only there will you find the answer.”

Mars, May 2002

Frozen

You swore eternal love to me, said I should never leave you, yet now you have left me behind.

What happened, what occurred? I didn’t even see it coming.

We wanted to shape our lives together, to hold together forever and always. I wanted to be with you, and you with me, yet you are simply no longer here.

Now you call, want to see me too, only to leave again after a while? Spare yourself — that doesn’t help me. I manage better without you. It makes everything more burdensome, for you don’t mean it honestly anyway.

I’ve understood, I’ve grasped it: our love — it is freezing.

Despite everything, I miss you terribly. My insides are quite empty, yet I know, hard as it may be, for us there is no chance anymore.

So Sad Without You

Everything is filled with senseless emptiness. Thoughts are shrouded in mist. My eyes are filled with tears. Depression — my soul screams.

I stand here shouting into the night. Lonely, robbed of sleep. Drawing quiet circles in my field. Sunk within myself, forgetting the world.

Everything is gray, simply monotonous. The sun rises, full of mockery. I gaze into the darkness — it hurts so much. I freeze; snow lies upon my soul.

My calling fades in the wind. I am lost, like a small child. I look to where the stars should be. I see nothing — my tears make me blind.

Mars, 2002

Fear

You say you love the sun, but when it shines, you seek the shade.

You say you love the rain, but when it rains, you seek the dry.

You say you love the wind, but when it blows, you close the door.

You say you love the birds, but when they sing, you close the window.

That is why I am afraid when you again say, “I LOVE YOU”

Lost

“When I lost you, we both lost. I, because you were what I loved most, and you, because I was the one who loved you most. But of the two of us, you lose more than I, because I can love another as I loved you. But no one will love you as I did.”

Understanding

You were always there, you were so close to me, I trusted only you, did not rely on others. You hurt my feelings, shredded my heart into a thousand pieces. Yet I do not regret a single day, because I still care for you. Honestly, I love you very much, that is why it is so hard to simply let you go, to never hold you again, to no longer feel you, to never again touch you. But you wanted to leave — I hope I will understand that soon!!!

Dreams

Yes, you left me. I could actually hate you for that. But I love you dearly and miss you more and more. Your photo lies before me; I would so love to be with you. Then I could laugh with you and do all sorts of things. You would take me in your arms and I would be happy — about everything in my life. We would kiss and never have to miss each other again. We would understand each other well and not part over some small thing. I would look into your eyes and could build upon our relationship.

Sadly, these are all just dreams, and dreams, as they say, are but foam. For in my dream I am with you, but in reality, you are far away from me. So here I sit once more and dream only of you!

You Hurt My Feelings

You hurt my feelings — my own fault, I placed my bet on the wrong love. There was plenty of choice, my feelings led me to the wrong place.

Making mistakes in love is not good — am I the only one who does this? Is love not a togetherness? Or does it consist only of vanity?

You said my heart belongs to you. The next day it belongs to another. A joke? I gave trust and sowed love. I did not see the danger — now it is too late.

I trusted in words, believed in our love. I sought the right path to happiness; when I found it, you left me behind.

Now I stand here with my love, alone. Yet suddenly you have no feelings for me. “I love you,” you said — that was perhaps a bit too bold.

You hit the bull’s eye, for my heart was wide open to you. You gave my soul its pains. I cannot bear it and no longer want to live.

With false play, my feelings betrayed — why did love lie to me? Future plans already forged, yet they were only rented.

You now stand in seventh heaven, full of happiness. At least give him back the true love. Remember, love is not a game, for in truth, it gives so much.

The time will come when my soul heals again. But trusting love must wait — I still bear the visible scars.

A dear person says “I love you” — oh, this warmth, is this moment real? Can I rely on these words, or will I hate myself for my foolishness?

You were the greatest dream on earth for me. What shall now become of my love? You rejected it, though you proclaimed: “I love you.”

You were afraid of losing me, or has egoism flourished within you? I felt your fear, your love, your longing. Why then did you take flight?

To another man, into a new life — do you think he can give you everything? He too will make mistakes, just like everyone. Are you not sitting in a different place but in the very same trap?

Mistakes can also happen in love. When one loves, should one not still stand by each other? All words, just thoughts, yet they open great barriers.

Love can move mountains, and therefore also wound the soul. Handle this treasure with care, lest love someday hurt you too.

The angel came, the angel triumphed, and left behind the vanquished.