Personal Stories
These personal stories show different paths into alcohol dependence and — for some — also the way out. They are meant to give hope to those affected and help loved ones better understand the disease.
Story 1: Chris - The Gradual Decline
Section titled “Story 1: Chris - The Gradual Decline”The Beginning
Section titled “The Beginning”A literary first-hand account
Summer had arrived. The healing power of the sun and the vibrant colors of nature opened people’s hearts. Here in Cologne, on the steps to the cathedral, sat a young man. It was Chris. His pale, worried face and trembling hands were visible signs of a disease he knew well but had not yet accepted for himself.
His soul was weeping, and his heart was losing strength. The glaring sunlight made his dull, gray-blue eyes ache — eyes that had long lost their sparkle.
The Questions
Section titled “The Questions”“What is wrong with me?” Chris asked himself as he began to reflect on his life.
Memory carried him away to a long-past time. Joy and tears were expressions of his fluctuating emotions.
“Why don’t I let the beautiful experiences of my childhood and youth come alive, to gather strength for a new beginning?”
The Daily Reality of Addiction
Section titled “The Daily Reality of Addiction”Chris had barely eaten. His stomach ached, his hands were trembling. His circulation had lost stability, and his gray-blue eyes were bloodshot. His skin looked gray, brittle, and dehydrated.
Alcohol, pills, and sorrow had turned a life-loving, open-minded man into a nearly powerless creature. Body and soul were in great danger.
Even on this mild summer morning, alcohol was his first nourishment. The daily recurring battle between dependence and helplessness began once again.
The Invisible Illness
Section titled “The Invisible Illness”“Stay just the way you are, Chris!” - How often people had called out to him.
They all knew only the friendly and helpful Chris. They did not see the tears at night and did not know his longing for professional fulfillment. No one heard the cry of his heart.
The Loss
Section titled “The Loss”After the early death of his brother from cancer, the dependence intensified. Addiction exploited every moment of weakness:
“I just need to cry, do you understand?”
These were the moments when alcohol continued its cruel campaign. Every moment, Chris sought solace in it once again.
Story 2: The Business Graduate - From Success to the Abyss
Section titled “Story 2: The Business Graduate - From Success to the Abyss”The Introduction
Section titled “The Introduction”As long as the social environment still functions, the sick person can go to work, has a steady circle of friends, the family is intact, and the spouse is reasonably stable, the illness goes unnoticed by those around them:
“He just likes to have a drink now and then, he’s actually a great guy.”
The public usually recognizes an alcoholic only when:
- The marriage has broken down
- The job has been lost
- Financial hardship sets in
- The family becomes a welfare case
The Beginning
Section titled “The Beginning”Born in 1949 into a “respectable” household. Excessive consumption was not modeled by the parents — there were only 2-3 celebrations per year at home.
As a so-called “latchkey child,” usually alone, later the “underachiever” at grammar school. All problems were solved by the parents — the skill of problem-solving itself was never learned.
The Entry
Section titled “The Entry”At age 20 — having never drunk alcohol until then, “cherry juice to the amusement of friends.” Then in the father-in-law’s business: Business kept declining, no contracts, barely any salaries, financial worries became enormous.
“He who has worries also has liquor.”
The daily, relatively “small amount” of alcohol made everyday life with its problems easier. Carefree feelings set in — we’ll tackle the problems tomorrow.
The Social Decline
Section titled “The Social Decline”After the described entry into addiction, the downward spiral began at a dizzying speed:
- Unable to carry out professional duties
- The urge for alcohol made everything secondary
- Family, friends, career — everything became unimportant
The Hide-and-Seek Game
Section titled “The Hide-and-Seek Game”- Peppermint candies in the pocket
- Mouth spray against the alcohol breath
- “Cough syrup” as an excuse
- Hidden bottles everywhere
The Co-Dependency Problem
Section titled “The Co-Dependency Problem”The alcoholic completely loses control when withdrawal sets in. The concealment of alcohol addiction (so-called co-alcoholism) is one of the greatest obstacles on the path to recovery.
The Vicious Cycle
Section titled “The Vicious Cycle”Drinking → Accusations → Raging → Guilt → DRINKING UNTIL OBLIVION
The Children’s Childhood
Section titled “The Children’s Childhood”The most difficult part: dealing with one’s own children. The alcoholic loves them just as much as any other father — but the “power” of alcohol robs them of any ability to walk a reasonable path.
What shapes children:
- Beatings and threats
- Arguments
- Temporary abandonment by a spouse
- Smashed dishes
- Broken-down doors
- The inner-family turmoil
The End - and the New Beginning
Section titled “The End - and the New Beginning”In early 1987, it had come to this: absolute nothingness. Chaos that could not be surpassed — financial and physical ruin, the entire family traumatized.
“I am grateful to God and happy to have been given such a strong family!”
The author has been sober for many years.
Story 3: Peter Goltz - The Phases of Recovery
Section titled “Story 3: Peter Goltz - The Phases of Recovery”About the Author
Section titled “About the Author”Peter Goltz, born in 1944, earned his engineering diploma in 1969. After multiple relocations and job changes, a failed marriage, and frequently changing relationships, his rapidly progressing alcohol disease was accompanied by continuous personality deterioration.
After a successful self-therapy, this single father now works as a branch manager. Meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous remain an important part of his daily life.
Phase 1: Destruction - The Dissolution of Structures
Section titled “Phase 1: Destruction - The Dissolution of Structures”Waking up. Neurons painfully searching for the redeeming realization.
THIS TIME IT WAS NO NIGHTMARE.
The morning begins with “level control”:
- 0.1 L of alcohol = 1.5 hours of power
- When power drops: off to the kiosk
- When power = 0: all systems collapse
The first buzz stabilizes the clarity. Then the ritual: with an outstretched arm, the glass “firmly in hand” — raised to eye level for self-satisfied inspection.
The Self-Deception
Section titled “The Self-Deception”“Me, the always-in-control, always-disciplined-drinking special-edition alcoholic.”
The police checkpoint: BAC 1.34 — the driver’s license is gone. For at least a year.
Phase 2: Capitulation
Section titled “Phase 2: Capitulation”The memory of constant lies and self-deceptions. The thousand-fold assurances of having everything under control.
“Lies have short legs” — If someone had told me that a significant lie pursues you like a “skeleton in the closet” your entire life, I would have preferred to swallow a bucket of… rather than lie.
The Further Phases
Section titled “The Further Phases”The book describes 12 phases of recovery:
- Destruction - The dissolution of structures
- Capitulation - Admitting powerlessness
- Humility - Accepting help
- Hope - The first ray of light
- Friendship - The importance of relationships
- The Time of Pain - The difficult middle part
- Freedom - The new feeling of life
- Evelin - Relationships in recovery
- My People - The self-help group
- The Days of Speechlessness - When words fail
- The Higher Power - Spirituality in recovery
- The Refounding - The new beginning
What These Stories Teach
Section titled “What These Stories Teach”Common Threads
Section titled “Common Threads”- The gradual onset - No one becomes an alcoholic overnight
- Self-deception - “I have everything under control”
- The social hide-and-seek - Mints, excuses, hidden bottles
- Loss of control - The point where stopping becomes impossible
- The impact on others - Family, children, friends suffer along
What Helps
Section titled “What Helps”- Honesty - First and foremost with yourself
- Professional help - Doctors, therapists, clinics
- Self-help groups - Alcoholics Anonymous and others
- A supportive environment - People who don’t give up
- Time - Recovery is a process, not an event
Resources
Section titled “Resources”If you or someone you know is affected:
- Alcoholics Anonymous Germany: www.anonyme-alkoholiker.de
- Alcoholics Anonymous Switzerland: www.anonyme-alkoholiker.ch
- Addiction Switzerland: www.suchtschweiz.ch
- Crisis hotline: 0800 111 0 111 (Germany) / 143 (Switzerland)
These stories were shared by those affected to give others courage. Recovery is possible.