Psychodynamic Model - Dependent Personality

Prerequisite

Before studying this model, please first read the psychodynamic model of the healthy personality. This is necessary to understand the model of the dependent personality.

The Dependent Structure at a Glance

When we examine the psychodynamic model of the dependent personality, we see that the parental imago is a central building block in the ego ideal. These internalized objects are passed on to the role models and manifest in the oedipal SUPEREGO (the supporting block beneath the conscience) and in the grandiose fantasies (the supporting block beneath the ideal self).

The Central Problem

If the building block is too small or too large, the SUPEREGO would schematically tip over. In the case of the dependent personality, this means that the building blocks parental imago or role models in Pillar II and oedipal SUPEREGO in Pillar I are enlarged.

The SUPEREGO Structure in Dependency

The Interlocking of the Pillars

Between Pillars I and II, a compensation takes place during development that manifests in conscience and ego ideal:

• An overstrong mother as the lowest block of Pillar I is balanced by a stronger conscience
• A weak mother can be compensated by another internalized object in Pillar II

In the case of the dependent personality, this interlocking is different from borderline or narcissism - it is particularly strongly pronounced.

What Is Different in Dependency?

1. The complex of parental imago + role models (Pillar II) is excessively strongly developed
2. An overstrong, rigid conscience (Pillar I) has formed
3. The narcissistic component (Pillar III) is too weakly developed (resulting from the restrictions/prohibitions of parents and role models in childhood)
4. The comparison (VI) does not function properly, as ego ideal and ideal self are divergently developed

The Dynamics in the System

The Excessive Pressure

As a result, Pillars I and II press with their total energy (B1), since both are interlocked, excessively strongly on the EGO and throw it off balance. Visually depicted, it tips to the left.

The Consequence for the Self

The consequence is that through the inversive connection (D), the Self correlate slides downward, which corresponds to low self-worth/self-awareness.

The Self correlate contains:

1. Self-image - How do I see myself?
2. Self-awareness - Who am I?
3. Self-esteem - What am I worth to myself?
4. Social self - Comparison with the external image

The EGO Structure in Dependency

What Happens in the EGO?

Two things now happen:

1. The ego discrepancy (IS) increases - the distance between ego ideal/ideal self and Self, which constitutes the narcissistic balance

2. Through feedback, the desire for love arises (interpersonal, partnership-based attention/value), which in turn evokes ID impulses

No Narcissistic Balance

Simply put, there is no narcissistic balance, and in the dependent personality there is a very weak narcissism. Completely the opposite of narcissism. Here lies one of the reasons why narcissists tend to seek out dependent personalities and vice versa.

The Attempt at Compensation

The dependent personality now tries to elevate their Self by:

• Doing everything for the partner in the relationship
• Seeking validation in the social environment through the social self, which is influenced by the external image

The ID Impulses in Dependency

Through the emergence of ID impulses, the ID pushes from below (E2) against the EGO. Since there are too many unacceptable ID impulses for the dependent personality (caused by the overstrong conscience and overstrong role models), the ID pushes along the path of least resistance against the EGO.

The Weak Side

The ID pushes on the weaker EGO side with impulses that run counter to a stronger narcissism (Pillar III). An example would be a sustained/emphatic demand on someone.

The Defense

Due to the (unacceptable) ID impulses, the EGO must protect itself and therefore activates the defense mechanisms (A) with its energy (C):

Sublimation

Satisfying unfulfilled desires through socially acceptable substitute actions - e.g., work

Reaction Formation

Avoiding anxiety-laden situations by overemphasizing opposite behaviors

Compensation

Frustration in one area is balanced by gratification in another

Rationalization

Attempting to convince oneself that one’s behavior is rationally justified

The Example of “Inge”

An unacceptable drive impulse - the desire for physical love - pushes as energy (E1) from the ID against the EGO. Since Inge has not learned to allow intimacy and knows that “her Self” will be thrown off balance, anxiety arises.

The anxiety on one side and the pressure that the EGO now exerts on the conscience (Pillar I) of the SUPEREGO causes the EGO in turn to defend with defensive actions (A+C).

Possible Reactions

In Inge’s case, it is sublimation (work), which stands in clear conscience with the SUPEREGO and additionally elevates the Self. Since a person cannot always ward off ID impulses (and according to Freud should not), only the acceptable parts of the drive impulse are allowed through.

Alternative reactions:

• Negation: The drive impulse is reversed (“I don’t want and don’t need such a thing”)
• Substitution: Transferring to another person (e.g., the son) in the form of sublimation

Compatibility with the SUPEREGO

What is important for the dependent personality is only that the EGO’s defense mechanisms do not contradict the prescriptions of Pillars I and II of the SUPEREGO.

The Denial of Self-Esteem

Based on the SUPEREGO problems of the dependent personality, you can now also see the reason why the dependent personality tends to deny their self-esteem:

The Dynamic

The stronger the SUPEREGO (from Pillars I and II) pushes against the EGO, the stronger the denial. This can go as far as anorexia, in which the EGO and Self are denied in relation to parts of Pillars I and II.

The Vulnerability to Depression

The SUPEREGO problems of the dependent personality are also the reason for their vulnerability to depression:

• The constant pressure from the SUPEREGO exhausts the EGO’s resources
• Low self-esteem is a risk factor
• Dependence on others makes one vulnerable to loss

The Difference from the Narcissist

Dependent Personality

• Weak narcissism
• Overstrong conscience (Pillar I)
• Overstrong role models (Pillar II)
• Low self-esteem
• Genuine emotional dependence
• Can love

Narcissistic Personality

• Pathological narcissism
• Weak conscience (selective)
• Overstrong Pillar III
• Inflated self-esteem
• Dependence only for mirroring
• Limited capacity to love

Logical Conclusion

This means in reverse and upon logical consideration that while narcissists are dependent on others in terms of mirroring, a dependent personality cannot be a narcissist.

The Totality of the System

You have now seen how the “regulatory mechanism” of the psyche operates in the dependent disorder. The problem cannot be pinpointed to a single “part” - not to the SUPEREGO, EGO, ID or Self, not even to the defense mechanisms.

Why Therapy?

The Path to Healing

The imagos in the SUPEREGO can no longer be changed. The focus therefore lies on the Self, on the self-image. The dependent personality makes this too strongly dependent on partner, other people, social self and external image.

Only therapy can help:

• Recognize the overstrong imprinting of Pillars I and II
• Utilize other adequate defense mechanisms
• Develop other attitudes, conceptions and behaviors
• Keep the EGO and Self in balance independently of external factors

It goes without saying that medication cannot heal or help in this case. At best, for example in the case of depression, it can provide supportive effects.

The Legend to the Model

SUPEREGO

Symbol	Meaning
VI	Comparison ego ideal / ideal self versus ego ideal / ideal objects
U	Primal imprints through the parental imago
B1	Total force from Pillars I and II on the EGO - excessively strong
B2	Total force from Pillar III on the EGO - too weak

EGO

Symbol	Meaning
A	Defense mechanisms of the EGO
B1	Forces from Pillars I and II - pressing excessively
B2	Forces from Pillar III
C	Defense energies (EGO drives)
A+C	Defensive action (e.g., sublimation)
D	Rigid connection with inversive joint (G) to the Self
E1, E2	ID impulses, drive energies
G	Inversive joint
SB	Self-observation, introspection
S	Comparison of social self with self-image
SE	Self-knowledge
SF	External image transition into the social self
SS	Elevation of self-esteem through the social self
SR	Self-regulation
IS	Ego discrepancy, narcissistic balance - enlarged
VI	Comparison - does not function properly

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Further Reading

• Psychodynamic Model - Healthy - The foundation
• Psychodynamic Model - Narcissism - The “counterpart”
• Psychodynamic Model - Depression - Frequent comorbidity